I’ll have the staples out in a few days and just take it easy until then. I have one kidney, I’m being forced to go cold turkey, I have a hospital bill that makes the ten grand I carry in credit card debt look like a bad joke, and I have no job. On the other hand, I pick up a paper and the Giants are on a four-game winning streak and have picked up two on the Mets, who split a four-game stand against thePhillies. I lean back into the cab seat and feel a sharp stab in my former kidney and wonder what the hell was eating those guys who beat the crap out of me.

This is how I got the cat.

The guy’s name is Russ and he has this cat. Russ lives in the apartment across the hall from mine and hangs out a bit at Paul’s, the place I tend bar. I know him OK and I like him. He’s never any trouble and the few times I’ve had to float him, he’s paid his tab right away. He brings me sandwiches at work sometimes. Now, one night, a couple weeks or so back, he’s outside my door holding one of those pet carriers and I can smell what’s coming. I take my eye away from the peephole and lean my forehead against the door. Russ knocks again. I take another look and he’s still there, bouncing up and down on his toes like he has to go. I let the peep snap shut and unlock the door.

Russ has a problem. Russ has a problem and he wouldn’t even ask, but he really needs a big favor. Russ’s dad is sick. This is true. I know it’s true because Russ has mentioned before in the bar that his dad has been sick for a while. The thing is, Russ’s dad is dying now and Russ needs to take off for Rochester right away and he can’t find anyone to watch the cat and he knows this is a pain, but he really needs help. Can I take the cat for a few days, a week or two at the most?

I’m already half in the bag and I tell him I’m gonna be drunk for a bit and I’m worried about the cat. Russ assures me the cat will be fine. He’ll bring me the cat’s special feeder that you can fill once every couple days and its litter box and all that. The cat will take care of itself. I say yes. What are you supposed to do? The guy’s dad is dying.