“People are staring, Derek. Let’s go inside.”

“Are you telling me that’s the only humongous alligator available in South Florida, which is the humongous alligator capital of the world?”

Raven was quite familiar with Derek’s tantrums. “This particular specimen happens to be perfect for what we need.”

“Perfect how?” he whined.

“Time to put on your pants. Let’s go.”

The script for Derek’s Everglades adventure called for him to swim beside a huge gator, which required renting one that would tolerate Derek’s nonsense and resist the urge to bite off his fool head. Mickey Cray’s son had assured Raven that Alice had never purposely hurt anybody (he’d again blamed himself for the thumb removal), and that the reptile was accustomed to the noisy presence of camera crews.

“But we can’t stage our biggest scene in some nitwit’s backyard,” Derek complained in the car, traveling to the Crays’ house.

Raven assured him that the family’s Everglades set didn’t look like a backyard. “It looks like a real-life swamp. You’ll be impressed.”

Derek sniffed. “No, they’ll be impressed when they see me jump that monster gator.”

“Not happening. The insurance company says no way.”

“They said the same thing about the cobra dance, but I did it anyway.”

Thanks for reminding me, thought Raven.

They had been shooting an Expedition Survival! in Cambodia when Derek decided to play snake charmer with a spitting cobra that had been rented from a local handler named Mr. Na. When Mr. Na saw what Derek was doing, he leaped between Derek and the dangerous reptile just as it released a jet of deadly poison. A few drops landed in Mr. Na’s hair, and as a precaution he rushed off to take a shower. Upon returning to the set of Expedition Survival! Mr. Na was dismayed to learn that Derek had chopped up his pet snake with a rusty machete and eaten it for supper in the program’s final scene.