“You know her, sir,” Bill said. It was not a question.

“Oh, yes,” Prael replied. “I can see you’re already developing the twitch. Captain, you may be a fine astrogator and experienced in space combat. But you have much to learn about how the Navy really operates. I will admit, though, that it is part of my duty to teach you. Very well, XO, as part of your professional development, I will instruct you in the proper method for wheedling Clerk Click. First, you compliment her on her hair — ”

“But her hair is thinning and that style is — ”

“God awful,” the skipper said, nodding. “Revolting, Disgusting. Compliment it. Then you ask how her dogs are getting on.”

“Dogs?”

“Pomeranians. Fat, hairy piranha with teeth. She had eight last time I dealt with her,” the CO replied. “Then you ask her if she’s lost weight. She will then fill you in on the details of her newest diet. You have to agree to try it since it’s amazing its effect.”

“She’s lost weight?”

“Never in my experience. Then and only then do you compliment her outfit. Since she appears to only have three such outfits, all equally revolting, in eye-searing colors that even the Adar would never wear, you have to lie through your teeth on that one. When you are done with complimenting her, listening to the latest medical horror story about her dogs or herself or both, when she is finished telling you to drink your own urine — ”

“Surely not!”

“Then and only then do you bring up the particular item that you need her to authorize,” the CO said.

“But… the…”