Postal Service, I’m always ready to deliver. Rain, snow or sleet—I don’t care if it’s in ya face, ya mouth, or ya muthafuckin’ ass—I’m ready to skeet. That’s not to say that e’ery chick I get at is willin’ to give up the pussy after seein’ all this beef hangin’. ’Cause eight outta ten times, the ho’s gonna run scared. But, for the hoes who do try, it definitely doesn’t mean that they can actually handle all this dick. It only means they done bit off more dick than they can chew—or fuck, I should say. So they usually grin ’n bear, beg ’n pray, or cry ’n scream, hopin’ their well-fucked, overstretched pussies snap back for them average-dicked niggas they fuck wit’.

However, for those ambitious freaks wit’ them bottomless, unlatchable pussies, the ones who take e’ery inch of this dick, they call me Daddy Long Stroke ’cause I gotta long, thick, chocolate stick that heats up and beats up the pussy. Nice ’n slow, long ’n deep, fast ’n hard, all muthafuckin’ night long—anyway, anywhere, anyhow you want it, I give it. Ya heard? You want it rough, you want it rugged. I’ma slay ya muthafuckin’ ass ’til ya shit-hole starts to smoke. You want it slow, you want it gentle. I’ma rock ya box ’til ya eyes cross, real talk. Fuck wit’ this dick if ya want, a nigga like me’ll have ya ass crawlin’ ’round tryna find ya way home. Have ya soakin’ ya swollen pussy lips overnight. So, I’ma tell ya some real shit. Fuck at ya own risk. And be prepared to get rocked inside out ’cause I’ma slam it, grind it, and wind it, all up in ya. Deeply, savagely, tenderly—whatever, this dick is made for stretchin’ that sweet, tight, wet pussy to the limit. And there you have it.

Anyway, back to the bitch I got in front of me. I have her legs up over my shoulders, my face is buried between her thighs, and I’m tongue-fuckin’ the shit outta her pussy, alternatin’ between eatin’ her pussy and lickin’ her asshole while jerkin’ my dick. I got her wrigglin’ and squirmin’ and moanin’. “Oh, yes…ah…ah… oh, yes…ohmyGod, you gonna make me cum…aaaah…aaaaah… oh, shit…I’m cuuuuu—” Now guess what the fuck she does while she’s creamin’ on my muthafuckin’ tongue?