On the final day of our preparation he'd sat on the settee in the safe flat in Pimlico, as wired as an army officer about to give a pep talk to his troops before they go to war.

The Yes Man always liked to talk about things he'd read in reports, forgetting that people like me and Suzy had got hold of the stuff in the first place. 'Don't you two believe the hype,' he'd said. 'That's for those out there.' He pointed at the window. 'They need to think we are fighting the ignorant, destitute and disenfranchised – but we're not. Nor are the enemy crazed, cowardly, apathetic or anti-social. If any of these terror groups relied on such maladjusted low life, they simply wouldn't be able to produce effective and reliable killers who are prepared to sacrifice themselves in the process.'

'No, sir.'

Suzy always called him 'sir'.

I avoided calling him anything – just in case the words 'arsehole' or 'bastard' slipped from my lips by mistake.

All around us mobile phones started tuning up: it was like the digital version of the 'Hallelujah Chorus'. Their owners just stood up and walked away, not even looking to see who was calling. They knew it was God.

Suzy knew too. 'Not long to go now.'

Malaysian mobiles could ring you five times a day for prayer, and also had a Kiblat finder to point the faithful in the direction of Mecca if they were stuck in the shopping mall and couldn't make it to a mosque.

Suzy went back to mugging up on arse tubes, and smoked and drank without lifting her eyes from the page while I watched a couple stop and look at the menu board outside the Palace, then listened to the excited waiter rush out and try to lure them under the corrugated sheeting. He had to shout to make himself heard above the organist, who was now going on about a girl from Ipanema.