Sue was afraid of that. She had hopes of making mutual confessions, offering mutual forgiveness, then mutually agreeing to open the marriage. She didn't doubt his claim. He wasn't the cheating type. Sue felt badly and said, "Jack, I'm sorry, but…"

"How many, Sue? Estimate."

Exasperated, Sue looked out the window, debated, then looked back and said, "I don't know… maybe over three or four…"

"Bullshit! Don't you dare sit there and pretend you can't recall whether it was three, four, or five when I personally know ten men who have screwed you and another ten they said they saw you screw. I am not a fucking idiot, Sue."

"No, but you are a buttinski.

You cut me off. Will you let me finish my sentence?"

Jack sat back, straightened his tie, and quietly gestured for her to go ahead."

"Thank you. I was about to say before being so rudely butted into, maybe over three or four hundred, but now that I think of it, it has to be over five."

"Over five-hundred! You fucked over five-hundred men since we got married?"

"Yes, maybe. I don't count.

I'm an adulterous slut, Jack. I've been cheating since we started going steady.

Before that, I couldn't cheat because we weren't going steady, that's why I was so eager to go steady. Hell, I cheated on the honeymoon, twice. In sixteen years, I'm sure I must be nearing seven-hundred if we count the ones before I said, 'I do." They weren't all males. At least a dozen were women and at least a gross were dogs. A gross is a dozen dozen, right? Or do you think one dog is gross?"

"Good god, Susan! You had sex with dogs? That's gross no matter what the number."

"Well, then, it had to be a gross. Come to think of it, I think I've had a gross of women, too. Put me down for too gross-one mutt, one bitch."

"You think this is funny, do you?"

"I have a bad case of nerves, Jack. You know how I deal with nerves. I get funny when I think my life is coming unraveled. Can't you at least give me a courtesy laugh to calm my nerves?" [He just stared with his stone face] "Guess not."