Despite this distinction, surface waves are the mules of the surfing world, unheralded beasts of burden not incapable, however, of kicking their traces from time to time when whipped into a frenzy by the wind.

A lot of people think that it's strong winds that make big waves, but this really isn't true. Wind can cause some big surf, blowing an otherwise-average wave into a tall peak, but most of the energy-the disturbance-is on the surface. These waves have height, but they lack depth. All the action is on top-it's mostly show; it's literally superficial.

And wind can ruin surf, and often does. If the wind is blowing across the wave it will ruin its shape, or it can make the surf choppy, or, if it's coming straight in off the ocean, it can drive the crest of the wave down, flattening it out and making it unridable.

What you want is a gentle, steady, offshore wind that blows into the face of the wave and holds it up for you.

The other kind of wave is the sub surface wave, which starts, duh, under the water. If surface waves are your middleweight boxers, dancing and shooting jabs, the subsurface wave is your heavyweight, coming in flat-footed, throwing knockout punches from the (ocean) floor. This wave is the superstar, the genuine badass, the take-your-lunch money, walk-off-with-your-girlfriend, give-me-those-fucking-sneakers, thank you for playing and now what parting gifts do we have for our contestant, Vanna wave.

If surface waves lack depth, the subsurface wave has more bottom than a Sly and the Family Stone riff. It's deeper than Kierkegaard and Wittgenstein combined. It's heavy, my friend; it ain't your brother. It's the hate child of rough sex at the bottom of the sea.

There's a whole world down there. In fact, most of the world is down there. You have enormous mountain ranges, vast plains, trenches, and canyons. You have tectonic plates, and when they shift and scrape against each other, you have earthquakes. Gigantic underwater earthquakes, violent as a Mike Tyson off meds, that set off one big honking disturbance.