Self-ridicule clogged her chest until she felt as if she were suffocating. What had she thought? That because he’d been slow and easy and made sure she came he’d fallen in love with her? Yeah, right. His technique was different, that was all. Like every other man she’d been with, once he got his rocks off, he lost interest.

Humiliation gnawed at her like a hungry animal. Why couldn’t she just have enjoyed the sex stuff and not let her emotions get involved? Instead she’d acted like the naive, idiotic girl she’d been at fifteen, thinking a man would make everything in her world right, instead of screwing things up even more.

At least she’d been young, the first time she’d made a fool of herself for a man and ended up alone and pregnant-and then just alone-so that was some excuse for being stupid. Not now. Not this time.

She rinsed off and got out of the shower, and despite an almost nauseating distaste made herself use the towel the assassin had used. Rafael noticed details, and too many towels would be a dead giveaway.

The blast of air-conditioning was frigid on her damp skin and she began shivering again as she blotted her wet hair with the same towel, which was now too wet to do much good. Tossing the towel aside, she grabbed the thick terry robe hanging on a hook and pulled it around her, then went to the marble vanity to get her comb and drag it through her hair.

As she stared into the mirror, she realized her face was wet, and with distant surprise she realized she was crying. Again. Twice in one day had to be a record for her.

She would not cry over this. Crying didn’t help a damn thing. She all but slapped the tears off her cheeks.

They came back. She stood there, watching the woman in the mirror and the slow trickle of tears down her face, and had the disorienting feeling she was watching someone else, someone who had disappeared a long time ago. Her face was white, the expression in her eyes stark. Without her makeup, and with her long hair slicked back from her face, she was the girl whose baby had died and taken all her dreams with it.