“No,” said Phil. “We’re sorry, uh, Master.”
“How many channels do you get?”
Phil and Teri each waited for the other to answer the question.
“I’m not really sure,” Phil finally said.
“You’ve got premium, right?” asked Lucky.
Phil hesitated. “It’s just basic.”
“Aw, crud,” said Lucky.
“Our apologies… Master.”
“Will you cut out that master stuff? It’s Lucky. Just Lucky. It’s not your fault. It’s that damn matchmaking service. You’d think with all the forms you have to fill out they’d have a space for cable package somewhere, right? It’s not ideal, but I can live with it. Maybe your next paycheck you might consider getting an upgrade. I’m not trying to impose or anything, but a nice, upstanding American couple like yourselves can really do better than basic cable. Still, as long as we’ve got Oxygen and Discovery, I guess I’m good.”
He flipped through the channels too rapidly to even see what was on.
“How are those burgers coming along, kids?”
“I don’t think we have everything we need here,” said Phil.
“Well, they have these great new things called grocery stores. Very handy. Or, if you prefer, you can swing through a drive-through. I’ll take a Big Mac and a cherry pie. But before you go, we should probably get my stuff inside first. Where’s my room?”
“Room?” repeated Teri.
“Don’t tell me. No room. Disappointing, but heck, I don’t mind crashing on the couch.”
“Excuse me,” said Teri, “but you want to move in?”
“You bet.”
“Here?”
Lucky nodded.
“In our house?”
Lucky muted the television. “Let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we? I’m not one of those gods who sits up high on his mountain and looks down upon his followers like interchangeable minions. I’m more hands-on. Quality not quantity, that’s my motto. And I have a good feeling about you two. I’m not just in this for myself. Sure, when you guys do better, the divine karmic feedback loop means that I do better. But that’s just a fringe benefit. I want you to be happy, and the only way I can feel comfortable doing that is to be down here, in the trenches, with you fine folks.”