The monkey, evidently satisfied with his evil plan to give me a heart attack, leaped back onto the bookcase, where he smoothed down the fur on his tail.

"Um… I can't use you as an excuse unless you're on my shoulder, so hop on… er… what's your name?"

I reached out a tentative hand to stroke his arm. He didn't seem to mind being petted, so I gently touched the jeweled collar he wore around his neck. Tiny rivets spelled out a series of letters.

"B… E… P… well, hello there, Beppo."

The monkey stopped examining his tail and held out a rust-fingered hand. Stifling a giggle at the dignified look on his little face, I carefully shook his hand. Satisfied, he returned to his grooming.

"You are one strange little monkey. All right, Beppo, hop on and let's go interrupt your owner."

He dropped his tail and held out his hand again.

"Hee!" I shook his hand again. That completed, he picked up his tail.

"Beppo," I said again, unable to resist. Down went the tail; out went his hand.

"OK, cute but could well become annoying. Here, if you don't mind—" I hoisted the monkey off the bookcase and set him onto my shoulder. His tail wrapped around my neck as he clung with one hand to my ponytail. "Groovy. Now let's go pretend that I just found you in a dangerous situation and see if I can't have a quick word with your owner before toddling on my merry—holy crap! What is it with everyone trying to startle me into an early grave?"

A being popped up in front of me. I mean, literally popped up right out of the floor. All my supernatural senses went into high tingle mode at the sight of what appeared to be a short, middle-aged man.