Oh, no. How can I give this diary to Holly and Mark if it’s full of musings about some random guy’s underwear????

NOW what am I going to give them? I can’t give them candlesticks or something. This is HOLLY. It has to be something SPECIAL.

Okay, well, one mention of underwear. You guys don’t mind, do you? I mean, it’s just underwear .)

Where was I? Oh yeah. Mark. So cute, in spite of the Star Trek Next Generation marathons he makes you watch, Holl. So responsible, with the whole doctor-and-health-column thing. Which reminds me, I need to ask him about this mole on my elbow. God, Holly’s so lucky, she can get her moles checked for free anytime she wants. Why can’t I find a boyfriend with a useful skill like that? All Malcolm can do is beat me at Vice City. And what good is that? Can a high score on Vice City save you from a life threatening carcinoma? No.

Okay, now I totally can’t give this to Holly and Mark.What is wrong with me ?

Cell Phone Guy just hung up on whoever it was he was talking to. I just heard him go, “That is inexcusable,” but that was all I could get because they’ve got CNN turned up so loud in here. Now he’s got out his Blackberry. He’s typing into it furiously. I will never be able to type that fast into mine.

But maybe that’s a good thing. Cell Phone Guy is a classic example of a Type A personality, as illustrated in last month’s Shape. I can practically SEE his blood pressure going up. I hope he doesn’t stroke out on the plane.

Although I wouldn’t mind giving him CPR.

Oh my God, I can’t believe I just wrote that.

But he is kind of cute. I mean, if you like the tall, rugged, sandy-haired, razor-stubbled-with-piercingblue-eyes-who-knows-how-to-use-a-Blackberry type.

Okay. Now I definitely won’t be able to give this to Holly and Mark as a wedding present.

Oh, wait, I can just rip out the pages with Cell Phone Guy comments. Or black them out with a Sharpie.