How can one write entertaining memoirs about such an occupation? Answer: By writing about what this scrivener did when not writing, or by resorting to fiction, or both. Usually both.
I could write entertaining memoirs about things I did when not writing. I shan't do so because a) I hope those incidents have been forgotten, or b) I hope that any not forgotten are covered by the statute of limitations.
Meanwhile I hope you enjoy this. The fiction is plainly marked fiction; the nonfiction is as truthful as I can make it - and here and there, tucked into space that would otherwise be blank are anecdotes and trivia ranging from edifying to outrageous.
Each copy is guaranteed - or double your money back - to be printed on genuine paper of enough pages to hold the covers apart.
- R.A.H.
FOREWORD
The beginning of 1939 found me flat broke following a disastrous political Campaign (I ran a strong second best, but in politics there are no prizes for place or show). I was highly skilled in ordnance, gunnery, and fire control for Naval vessels, a skill for which there was no demand ashore - and I had a piece of paper from the Secretary of the Navy telling me that I was a waste of space - "totally and permanently disabled" was the phraseology. I "owned" a heavily - mortgaged house.
About then THRILLING WONDER STORIES ran a house ad reading (more or less):
GIANT PRIZE CONTEST - Amateur Writers!!!!!!
First Prize $50 Fifty Dollars $50
In 1939 one could fill three station wagons with fifty dollars worth of groceries. Today I can pick up fifty dollars in groceries unassisted - perhaps I've grown stronger. So I wrote the story LIFE - LINE. It took me four days - I am a slow typist. But I did not send it to THRILLING WONDER; I sent it to ASTOUNDING, figuring they would not be so swamped with amateur short stories.