"What happened after the panda hit you?" asked Jay. "Can you remember now?"

"No. I can remember everything up to — Well, I noticed the camera, and it’s looking at me, and then it looks down at this little pink thing next to the panda, so I look, too, and it’s this tiny animal."

"Baby Shuan Shuan," said Jay. "You’re so lucky."

"I feel lucky. So I’m looking down at this tiny hairless panda when I hear footsteps, and a door bursts in, and these uniformed guys with metal poles start tasering me. And you know what doesn’t work when people are tasering you? It’s shouting ‘Stop tasering me.’ If they’re tasering you already, they won’t stop because you ask them to."

"No," said Jay.

"The Tasers aren’t working so well on me, maybe because I’m a vampire, but they really, really hurt, so I back up, trying to get away from the guards, and I guess I get too close to Baby Ching Chong because that’s when the panda punches me in the head."

"Yeah."

"Then there’s a scene missing, because the next thing I know I’m back out in the zoo, in the bushes, without any clothes on. So you gotta figure that’s one hell of a missing scene."

"Uh-huh."

"And then I go to find you, but you’re not where I left you—"

"I said we should meet by—"

"—but you are by the exit, and the exit is by the T-shirt stand, so I don’t have to drive home naked. So that’s fine. Ow."

Jay looked glum.

"We should have left money on the stand," he said. "What we did…it was bad enough without stealing a T-shirt."

Doug sighed. "Yeah."

They crossed the train tracks to the convention center.