After he had gone, and with his persuasive force at my elbow, what I was planning to do seemed less sensible than ever. But then I was tired to death of being sensible. I went on working from dawn to midnight to clear the decks, and found myself waking each morning with impatience to be on my way.

Two days before I was due to leave I flew down to Geelong to say goodbye to Philip and explain to his headmaster that I was going to Europe for a while; I didn't know exactly how long. I came back via Fren- sham to see my sisters, both of whom exclaimed at once over the dark patches of stubble which were already giving my face the required 'unreliable' appearance.

"For heaven's sake shave them off," said Belinda.

"They're far too sexy. Most of the seniors are crazy about you already and if they see you like that you'll be mobbed."

"That sounds delicious," I said, grinning at them affectionately.

Helen, nearly sixteen, was fair and gentle and as graceful as the flowers she liked to draw. She was the most dependent of the three, and had suffered worst from not having a mother.

"Do you mean," she said anxiously, 'that you will be away the whole summer? " She looked as if Mount Kos- ciusko had crumbled.

"You'll be all right. You're nearly grown up now," I teased her.

"But the holidays will be so dull."

"Ask some friends to stay, then."

"Oh!" Her face cleared.

"Can we? Yes. That would be fun."

She kissed me more happily goodbye, and went back to her lessons.

My eldest sister and I understood each other very well, and to her alone, knowing I owed it to her, I told the real purpose of my 'holiday'. She was upset, which I had not expected.

"Dearest Clan," she said, twining her arm in mine and sniffling to stop herself crying, "I know that bringing us up has been a grind for you, and if for once you want to do something for your own sake, we ought to be glad, only please do be careful. We do… we do want you back."