‘Would you care to introduce yourself to these ladies and gentlemen, Mr Hardy? As you know, they are charged with deciding whether or not you are a fit person to hold a private enquiry agent’s licence.’

‘And who are you?’

‘Dr Campbell. I’m the Chairperson. My speciality is the socio-psychological profile of applicants.’

‘Holder, in my case.’

‘Yes. Although suspended.’

‘Well, perhaps I could just give them my card, but that’d be assuming they’ve got time to read it. They’re busy people, I imagine.’

‘I can understand your resentment at these proceedings, but now you’re being insulting which won’t help your cause. I gather that you’re a rather aggressive individual.’

‘I don’t know. I was an amateur boxer as a kid, then I was in the army, then I was an insurance investigator. I’ve been a private detective for fifteen years. They’re pretty violent occupations at times, but whether I was aggressive to begin with or the jobs got me that way, I don’t know. Question of nature and nurture, I guess.’

‘An interesting observation. You’re an educated person?’

‘Not really. I did a year of Law at university, but I didn’t do well at it and dropped out.’

‘Why?’

‘I thought Law might be about law, which I was interested in. I found out it was about money.’

‘You’re not interested in money.’

‘My Irish gypsy grandmother told me I’d never have any.’

‘Irish gypsy. That’d account for your dark appearance and the beaky nose… I’m sorry to be personal… This is irrelevant.’

‘That’s okay. The nose has been broken a few times. I don’t recall my grandmother’s nose. She was five foot one and a hundred pounds, so I’ve got a bit more than a foot and sixty pounds on her.’

‘I notice you use the imperial measures rather than the metric. Isn’t that rather old-fashioned of you?’