"Shhh,I'm playing," I tell her. "Yoshi's eaten four gold coinsand he's trying to find the fifth. I need to concentrate."

"Ohmy god, who gives a shit," Alison sighs. "We're dealingwith a fat midget who rides a dinosaur and saves his girlfriend froma pissed-off gorilla? Victor, get serious."

"It'snot his girlfriend. It's Princess Toadstool. And it's nota gorilla," I stress. "It's Lemmy Koopa of the evil Koopaclan. And baby, as usual, you're missing the point."

"Pleaseenlighten me."

"Thewhole point of Super Mario Bros. is that it mirrors life."

"I'mfollowing." She checks her nails. "God knows why."

"Killor be killed."

"Uh-huh."

"Timeis running out."

"Gotcha."

"Andin the end, baby, you . . . are . . . alone."

"Right."She stands up. "Well, Victor, that really captures the spirit ofour relationship, honey." She disappears into a closet biggerthan the bedroom. "If you had to be interviewed by Worthmagazine on the topic of Damien's Nintendo stock, you'd want to killYoshi too."

"Iguess this is all just beyond the realm of your experience," Imurmur. "Huh?"

"Whatare you doing tonight for dinner?" she calls out from thecloset.

"Why?Where's Damien?"

"InAtlantic City. So the two of us can go out since I'm sure Chloe istres exhausted from all dat wittle modeling she had to do today."

"Ican't," I call back. "I've got to get to bed early. I'mskipping dinner. I've got to go over—oh shit—seatingarrangements."

"Oh,but baby, I want to go to Nobu tonight," she whines from thecloset. "I want a baby shrimp tempura roll."

"Youare a baby shrimp tempura roll," I whine back.