Beethoven answered, "An excellent question. Here's what it meant." Whereupon he sat down at the piano and played the whole piece again.

I agree with Beethoven on this one—some things ought to speak for themselves. That's why I decided not to clutter up the stories themselves with forewords or afterwords. Instead, I'm putting all the chat right here in the preface, and it's up to you to decide if or when you want to read my commentaries.

A Note on the Text: It turns out short-story collections aren't magically assembled by pixies. This particular collection was put together by yours truly, starting with the story manuscripts as I originally wrote them, not as they finally appeared when published. In my experience, editors sometimes make tiny cosmetic tweaks before stories go to print…which only makes sense, considering these people are called editors. Anyway, I didn't want to go through the slogging dog-work of comparing my original text to the final printed version in order to make faithful copies of what was actually published. Instead I went through the slogging dog-work of perusing all the original texts and making my own cosmetic tweaks. In other words, I've lightly edited every story in this book to tighten up the language, make a few points more clearly, and so on.

That's the nice thing about being a writer—you can keep working on stories until you get them right.

And now for the commentaries…

"Muffin Explains Teleology to the World at Large": This is my most reprinted story, based on an idea I'd had for years before I finally found the right way to put it together. Believe it or not, the first time I tried to write a story on this premise, it was a sordid tale about a shipwrecked sailor and a dockside whore. I won't even try to explain how the one story changed into the other—I like Muffin too much to sully her reputation.