Note What Kind Of Businesses Are Operating In The Neighborhood Good: Arthur A. Wutherington IV, Investment Banker Bad: Earl’s All-Night Nude Revue & Motorcycle Repair Note What the Neighborhood Youths Are Doing Good: Selling lemonade Bad: Selling you your rear wheels back Note What Kind Of Bumper Stickers The Neighborhood Cars Have Good: “SCHOOL’S

OPEN! DRIVE CAREFULLY!” Bad: “I LOVE MY PIT BULL” Note The Types Of Neighborhood Social Activities Good: Barbecues Bad: Cockfights

It also might be a good idea to do some formal research into neighborhood property values by going down to the Municipal Building and getting shunted from one civil servant to another in an increasingly desperate attempt to find one who is not hostile, brain-damaged, or eating lunch, until finally you open fire at random with a semiautomatic weapon. So we can see that this is not, after all, such a good idea, and it probably should not even be included here. Although frankly I doubt that any jury in the land would convict you.

Choosing A Real Estate Broker

It is possible to buy or sell a home without a broker, as will be discussed in a later chapter (Unless we forget to write it). But most people prefer to use a broker, because of the many advantages, such as:

1. If you have a real estate broker, you have an excuse to fend off the other brokers, who will otherwise follow you around and hurl rocks through your window with notes taped to them explaining the many advantages of using a broker.

2. Brokers always have nicer cars than you do, a phenomenon that will become more understandable when we get to the section on commissions.

This is by no means meant to be a comprehensive list of the advantages of using a broker. The only reason I’m not listing all the others here is that they don’t spring immediately to mind.