Tony was driving to an appointment when his cell phone rang. He pressed a button and said, “Tony speaking.”

“Hi, Tony,” a female voice said. And after a pause, “It’s Carol.”

Carol? Why was his ex-girlfriend calling him? He felt the same thrill she had evoked in him when they were dating and he saw her or heard her voice. Then he became wary. “Hello, Carol.”

“Can you talk? You sound distracted.”

“I’m driving on the 405. I don’t like to talk on the phone when I’m driving.”

“Is there a better time when I can call you back?”

No, there wasn’t a better time. If she had something to say, he wanted to hear it now. He went into defensive mode. “I’m late for an appointment, but I can talk to you for a minute.”

“That’s big of you. All right, I guess I deserve that. Anyway, Josh called me. He’s worried about you.”

Josh called Carol? That got Tony’s attention. Josh and Carol got along like cobras and mongooses. Or was it mongeese?

“Josh is worried about me?” That was reflection. He was using his listening skills in ordinary conversation. Perhaps, if he had mastered these skills when Carol was his girlfriend, she wouldn’t have dumped him.

“He says you’ve changed. He says…well, he didn’t explain it very well, but he doesn’t think you’re the same person you were.”

“Maybe that’s an improvement. As I recall, you didn’t like the old Tony.”

“You know better than that. It’s just that…”

She hesitated. The old Tony would have interrupted at this point. The new Tony used silence as a tactic, waiting her out.

“It’s just that you didn’t seem to respect my feelings.”