"You could use your own healing powers to seal the vein shut," Laszlo suggested.

"It would be clothed permanently. I'd be a one-thided eater for all eternity." Roman removed the bloody handkerchief from his mouth and reinserted his fang into the hole.

Gregori leaned over to look. "I think you got it."

Roman released his hold on the tooth and attempted to retract his fangs. The left fang did as it should, but the right one fell from his mouth and landed on VANNA's stomach. More blood seeped from the wound. "Shit." Roman stuffed the handkerchief back in his mouth.

"Sir, I suggest you go to a dentist." Laszlo picked up the fang and offered it to Roman. "I've heard they can put a lost tooth back."

"Oh, right." Gregori snorted. "What's he supposed to do, waltz into a dental office and say, 'Excuse me, I'm a vampire and I lost a fang in the neck of a sex toy. They're not going to line up to help him."

"I need a vampire dentitht," Roman announced. "Look in the Black Pageth."

"The Black Pages?" Gregori zoomed to Roman's desk and began opening drawers. "You know, you're starting to lisp."

"I have a bloody rag in my mouth! Look in the bottom drawer."

Gregori located the black phone directory for vampire-owned businesses and flipped it open to reveal the white pages within. "Okay." He ran a finger down the advertisements. "Cemetery plots. Coffin repair. Crypt-keeper services. Custom-made crypts—fifty percent off. Interesting."

"Gregori," Roman growled.

"Right." He turned the page. "Okay. D's. Dance lessons—learn to move like a Latin lover. Dirt deliveries— sleep like a baby in topsoil from the Old Country. Dracula costumes—small to plus sizes."

Roman groaned. "I'm in deep thit." He swallowed hard and grimaced at the taste of stale blood. The meal had tasted better the first time down.