Even when he thought he was immune to it, the pain could still take him unawares, like a wound. Those seamen might become like the aimless groups that waited on the waterfront at Falmouth, criticising the ships coming and going with the tide, sometimes not a whole man among them.

And in Falmouth when they had moved aside to let him pass with Lowenna. The captain with his lovely bride, who wanted for nothing.

He walked across to his sleeping cabin, which was still closed. It was the morning watch, four o’clock, when most honest folk would be safely tucked up in bed, some recovering from Christmas, or preparing for the new year: 1819. He was still unaccustomed to it, despite having seen it on the official document, with the familiar wording which had left no room for doubt. Being in all respects ready for sea… And his signature.

He knew there were many who would envy him today. There were nine hundred captains on the Navy List, some without hope of getting a command. Even here in the naval port of Plymouth there were plenty of empty hulls, whose only destination was the breaker’s yard. And it was said that there was not an admiral flying his flag who was under the age of sixty.

The older seamen still yarned about the great sea battles, when there had never been enough ships. At Trafalgar, when “Our Nel” had been only forty-seven years old.

Adam Bolitho was thirty-eight, newly married, and now, after only the briefest time together, he was leaving her again. Lowenna…

His hand was on the cabin door, but he stopped himself from opening it. Her portrait was hanging just beneath the deckhead, where it could be reached easily and stowed away if the ship cleared for action, even if only a drill. Where was she now? Lying in that same bed and waiting for the first hint of dawn, or some movement in the old grey house? Remembering? Accepting, or regretting the inevitable?