When I'd gotten a refill, and she was seated, I started out by telling her "Jan, I'm sorry I disturbed you this morning. I knocked, and didn't hear any answer, so I thought it was okay to come in; I didn't know you were busy." – which earned me the brightest blush I'd ever seen.

I followed up by saying "There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about; that's something that everybody does. I'm just sorry that I interrupted you, and embarrassed you. Next time, I'll knock louder, and wait a bit longer before opening the door."

That got me another blush (not so much this time), and Jan started to reply before stopping herself.

"What? Did you want to say something?" I asked.

She was staring into her lap, and hesitated a moment before answering, "You mean that you're not mad? You're not going to tell Daddy or Father Thomas at school?"

Surprised, I said "No, why would I be mad? Like I said, it's something everybody does. And why would I want to tell your dad or Father Thomas?"

"Because Father Thomas and the nuns say that's a sin." She replied.

"Jan, what you were doing is called masturbation. Maybe the church calls it a sin, but I – and a lot of other people – don't think of it that way, at all. It's something that everybody has done at some point in their lives; usually when they're about the same age you are now. Maybe the church doesn't like it, but that's not something I want to argue about."

"You mean it's not a sin?"

"No, I didn't say that. I'm saying that I don't agree with the church: they say it's a sin and can cause bad things to happen. I don't think that way about it. If Father Thomas had seen you, he would have a different opinion, I expect; but it was ME that interrupted you, and I'M telling you that*I* don't think you were doing anything wrong. In case you hadn't noticed, I've told you that I'm sorry for disturbing you – I don't think that's what someone would say if they thought what you were doing was bad, or a sin, right?"