There were raised voices when he went back into the Rats Chamber.

“Because, Lord Selachii,” the Patrician was saying, “these are not the old days. It is no longer considered… nice… to send a warship over there to, as you put it, show Johnny Foreigner the error of his ways. For one thing, we haven't had any warships since the Mary — Jane sank four hundred years ago.

“Whyever not?” said Lord Selachii.

“Well, because during our history those we haven't occupied we've tended to wage war on,” said Lord Vetinari. “For some reason the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.”

“Oh, history,” said Lord Selachii. “That's all in the past!”

“A good place for history, agreed,” said the Patrician solemnly.

“I meant: why don't they like us now? Do we owe them money?”

“No. Mostly they owe us money. Which is, of course, a far better reason for their dislike.”

“How about Sto Lat and Pseudopolis and the other cities?” said Lord Downey.

“They don't like us much, either.”

“Why not? I mean t'say, we do share a common heritage,” said Lord Selachii.

“Yes, my lord, but that common heritage largely consists of having had wars with one another,” said the Patrician. “I can't see much support there. Which is a little unfortunate because we do not, in fact, have an army. I am not, of course, a military man but I believe that one of those is generally considered vital to the successful prosecution of a war.”

He looked along the table.

“The fact is” he went on, “that Ankh-Morpork has been violently against a standing army.”

“We all know why people don't trust an army,” said Lord Downey. “A lot of armed men, standing around with nothing to do… they start to get ideas…”

Vimes saw the heads turn towards him.

“My word,” he said, with glassy brightness, “can this be a reference to ‘Old Stoneface’ Vimes, who led the city's militia in a revolt against the rule of a tyrannical monarch in an effort to bring some sort of freedom and justice to the place? I do believe it is!