She gave me another doubtful look, and I went on to explain "Kelly, this is something that you need to understand, completely and fully, before anything else: we are going to a foreign country. It is not a suburb of Los Angeles or New York or anyplace else in the United States. It is their country, and they make the rules. We are the foreigners. I've traveled through a lot of Asia, without any problems, by keeping that in mind at all times. Give them half a chance and you'll probably find the people we meet to be friendly, courteous, and helpful – but never lose sight of the fact that it's their country and their culture. We can learn to get around in it. But if we're not careful, we run the risk of assuming we know it when we don't – by getting too comfortable and confident – and making a mistake that gets us into trouble. When the stewardess gets back, I can give you an example."

Kelly looked surprised, but nodded her agreement. A few minutes later, Mhay reappeared, telling us "I have a few minutes before we start the meal, if you would like."

I assured her that we certainly would like, and she took a seat on the armrest of an empty seat on the aisle. She looked at us expectantly, and I spoke up, saying "Mhay, this is Kelly's first trip outside the United States, and I am trying to help her understand that not all places have the same customs. If you would be kind enough to help me, I think I can help her understand what I am talking about."

Mhay assured me that she would be happy to help, and I asked her to show us how she would gesture for someone to come over to her. She nodded, the stuck her arm out before letting her hand drop toward the floor.

Kelly looked at her quizzically, and I asked Mhay "Why do you do like that?"

She answered "Because that is the nice way."

I went on to ask her "You know how Americans do it, right?"

She nodded, and said "You can do that, too, but it is only for servants or like that. The other is the polite one."