"Oh, all right," said the Archchancellor. "But he's got to wear something during the ceremony,' if only for the sake of the poor bride."

There was a whimper from the Bursar.

All the wizards turned toward him.

His spoon landed on the floor with a small thud. It was wooden. The wizards had gently prevented him from having metal cutlery since what was now known as the Unfortunate Incident At Dinner.

"A-a-a-a," gurgled the Bursar, trying to push himself away from the table.

"Dried frog pills," said the Archchancellor. "Someone fish 'em out of his pocket."

Wizards didn't rush this. You could find anything in a wizard's pocket-peas, unreasonable things with legs, small experimental universes, anything. . .

The Reader in Invisible Writings craned to see what had unglued his colleague.

"Here, look at his porridge," he said.

There was a perfect round depression in the oatmeal.

"Oh dear, another crop circle," said the Dean.

The wizards relaxed.

"Damn things turning up everywhere this year," said the Archchancellor. He hadn't taken his hat off to eat the meal. This was because it was holding down a poultice of honey and horse manure and a small mouse-powered electrostatic generator he'd got those clever young fellas in the High Energy Magic research building to knock together for him, clever fellas they were, one day he might even understand half of what they were always gabblin' on about. . .

In the meantime, he'd keep his hat on.

"Particularly strong, too," said the Dean. "The gardener told me yesterday they're playing merry hell with the cabbages."

"I thought them things only turned up out in fields and things," said Ridcully. "Perfectly normal natural phenomenon."