Sharonis a wonderful person, and I love her very much, but she is most definitely not what I'd call a neat freak. In fact, she's kind of the opposite. I'll give you some examples.

One: Before she moved in with us,Sharonhad never owned a vacuum cleaner. "Isn't a broom good enough?" she'd asked. Two: Once I found my best shoes (which I'd been looking for all over) in the linen closet, under the dean towels. I've also found a box of crackers on the hall table, my Sassy magazine in the freezer, and a bottle of shampoo in my shoe bag. Three: AfterSharonhas cooked dinner (her meals often involve things like brown rice and seaweed), the kitchen could be officially declared a disaster area.

Of course, Sharon and Dawn have had to adjust to me and my father, too. And to Tigger. I knowSharonis not crazy about cats, but she tries hard to beat Tigger as a member of the family. And, I have to say it, a "family" is what we really feel like, and that feels great. I'll never call Sharon "Mom" — that name is reserved for someone I lost a long, long time ago — but she is about the best stepmom I could have hoped for.

You know, I'm not even sure what having a real mother would be like. Would I be less shy, less insecure if I'd grown up with my mother around? I guess I'll never know. And I've gotten used to not knowing things. For example, I don't really know much about what my mother was like, or even how she died. I used to try to ask my father questions about

those things, but I stopped. Why? Because I could see how much it hurt him to taUc — or even think — about my mother. There's one thing I do know: He must have loved her very, very much.

Maybe this explains why, even though my life is very full now, with Sharon and Dawn and Tigger and Dad and Logan (he's my boyfriend), sometimes I still feel this empty place inside. And that's what I was feeling that morning, when I woke up from my strange dream. I felt that emptiness, and I felt alone, and I could completely understand the little girl in my dream. The one who was calling for her mama.