But why shouldanyone be interested in what Ihave to say on the matter? I am just the Princess of Genovia. Myopinion obviously doesn't matter. Which would be why no one islistening to me, just arguing over the top of my head with my dad, whofortunately shares my opinion that a nominal parking charge - I'd jackit up to about thirty Euros a day, if I were him —

is appropriate.

Fine, whatever. Like I care. I ampretending to take notes, since Grandmere told me I had to, as one dayI will be sitting

in my dad's chair (sadly not the throne - that is in the throne roomback at the palace) in the front of Parliament and have

to make all the decisions. But really I am recording my innermostthoughts and feelings in this book. Like the fact that I think InteriorMinister Pepin looks exactly like this howler monkey I once saw on World'sFunniest Animals. Or that Secretary Renard needs to start watchinghis saturated fats intake.

Not that it is at allprincesslike to comment on the physical inadequacies of others.Especially when I have so many physical inadequacies of my own.

But it isn't like I don't haveenough to worry about. I mean, I can barely bring myself to believethat a whole new year has actually started. Seriously. So much hashappened to me since last year - enough that probably a better-adjustedperson

might have totally lost it. Fortunately, since I was born a biologicalfreak, and am therefore very used to adversity, I was

able to take it all in my stride, for the most part.

But if I had been anyone else -like Katie Holmes, or maybe one of the Olsen twins - I so fully wouldhave not been able to deal. Because, you know, Katie and Mary Kate andAshley are totally gorgeous and self-actualized, and never have to