No help for it. But there was a law of averages. Once more to the brink and let that be an end to it. He did not particularly fear the physical dangers, the battles he fought, the monsters he faced, the sexual exhaustion at times forced on him. He feared that his brain would be destroyed. He feared death, yes, but that was a secondary fear. Lord L and J. . they could not dream of what it was like out there. He could not tell them. Words did not do the job. It was like war. You had to undergo it personally to know what it was like.

And there was this urge, this hunch or intuition, telling him to go now.

He tried to tell them. He spoke briefly and saw, after a few moments, that even J did not understand. Lord L sulked and only half listened.

Blade faced them. «So if you like, sir, I am refusing to obey an order.» This to Lord L. «I go tonight, sir, or I do not go at all. You do have a backup man, after all, and maybe it would be better if-«

Lord Leighton suddenly looked like a peevish child. He waved a pencil and said, «Come now, my boy. Nobody said anything about orders or any of that rot. Forget that. It is just that I am a scientist and I distrust intuition. But have it your way, by all means. I will make the setting on the machine-it may take me an hour or so before the cycle is right and then we will go. By all means.»

The old man hobbled out of the room, mumbling to himself even as he fussed with a slide rule.

J had his pipe going at last. He peered at Blade through blue smoke. «You are feeling all right, my dear boy?»

Blade shrugged his massive shoulders. «Never better. In the pink. I really can't explain any of this, sir, except that somehow I know it is better to go now. Other than that I suppose it is just another DX mission. Routine. I am sorry to upset Lord L's schedule, but it is the way I feel and-«