He was talking so fast I almost missed the opening. In fact, I would have if he hadn't paused and looked expectantly at me.

"What? Oh! I'm Skeeve. I..."

"Skeeve, huh? Funny name for a Pervert."

My response was reflexive.

"That's Per-vect. And I'm not. I mean, I'm not one."

The Djin cocked his head and squinted at me. "Really? You sure look like one. Besides, I've never met anyone who wasn't a Perver... excuse me, Pervect... who would argue the difference."

It was sort of a compliment. Anyway, I took it as one. It's always nice to know when your spells are working. "It's a disguise," I said. "I figured it was the only way to operate on Perv without getting hassled by the natives."

"Perv!"

Kalvin seemed genuinely upset. "By the gods, Affendi, what are we doing here?"

"Affendi?"

"Sure. You're the Affendi, I'm the Offender. It'stradition among Djins. But that's beside the point. You haven't answered my question. How did an intelligent lad such as yourself end up in this godforsaken dimension?"

"Do you know Perv? Have you been here before?" I said, my hopes rising for the first time since I opened the bottle.

"No, but I've heard of it. Most Djins I know avoid it like the plague."

So much for getting my hopes up. Still, at least I had Kalvin talking seriously for a change.

"Well, to answer your question, I'm here looking for a friend of mine. He... well, you might say he ran away from home, and I want to find him and bring him back. The trouble is, he's... a bit upset at the moment."

"A bit upset?" The Djin grimaced. "Sahib, he sounds positively suicidal. Nobody in their right mind comes to Perv voluntarily... present company excepted, of course. Do you have any idea why he headed this way?"