
Terry Pratchett
NIGHT WATCH
Sam Vimes sighed when he heard the scream, but he finished shaving before he did anything about it.
Then he put his jacket on and strolled out into the wonderful late spring morning. Birds sang in the trees, bees buzzed in the blossom. The sky was hazy, though, and thunderheads on the horizon threatened rain later. But, for now, the air was hot and heavy. And, in the old cesspit behind the gardener's shed, a young man was treading water.
Well…treading, anyway.
Vimes stood back a little way and lit a cigar. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to employ a naked flame any nearer to the pit. The fall from the shed roof had broken the crust.
“Good morning!” he said cheerfully.
“Good morning, your grace,” said the industrious treadler.
The voice was higher pitched than Vimes expected and he realized that, most unusually, the young man in the pit was in fact a young woman. It wasn't entirely unexpected—the Assassins' Guild was aware that women were at least equal to their brothers when it came to inventive killing—but it nevertheless changed the situation somewhat.
“I don't believe we've met?” said Vimes. “Although I see you know who I am. You are…?”
“Wiggs, sir,” said the swimmer. “Jocasta Wiggs. Honoured to meet you, your grace.”
“Wiggs, eh?” said Vimes. “Famous family in the Guild. ‘Sir’ will do, by the way. I think I once broke your father's leg?”
“Yes, sir. He asked to be remembered to you,” said Jocasta.
“You're a bit young to be sent on this contract, aren't you?” said Vimes.
“Not a contract, sir,” said Jocasta, still paddling.
“Come now, Miss Wiggs. The price on my head is at least—”
“The Guild council put it in abeyance, sir,” said the dogged swimmer. “You're off the register. They're not accepting contracts on you at present.”
“Good grief, why not?”
“Couldn't say, sir,” said Miss Wiggs. Her patient struggles had brought her to the edge of the pit, and now she was finding that the brickwork was in very good repair, quite slippery and offered no handholds. Vimes knew this, because he'd spent several hours one afternoon carefully arranging that this should be so.
