“I've got just the spot—” Leggie began, and then stopped. He pointed angrily towards the entrance. “You know what I said about him coming up here!”

They turned. Corporal Reg Shoe, a whole bouquet of lilac tied to his helmet, was walking solemnly up the gravel path. He had a long-handled shovel over his shoulder.

“It's only Reg,” said Fred. “He's got a right to be here, Leggie. You know that.”

“He's a dead man! I'm not havin' a dead man in my cemetery!”

“It's full of 'em, Leggie,” said Dibbler, trying to calm the man down.

“Yeah, but the rest of 'em don't walk in and out!”

“Come on, Leggie, you act like this every year,” said Fred Colon. “He can't help the way he was killed. Just because you're a zombie doesn't mean you're a bad person. He's a useful lad, Reg. Plus it'd be a lot neater up here if everyone looked after their plots like he does, 'morning, Reg.”

Reg Shoe, grey-faced but smiling, nodded at the four of them and strolled on.

“And bringing his own shovel, too,” muttered Leggie. “It's disgusting!”

“I've always thought it was rather, you know, nice of him to do what he does,” said Fred. “You let him alone, Leggie. If you start throwing stones at him like you did the year before last Commander Vimes'll get to hear about it and there'll be trouble. Be told. You're a good man with a, a—”

“—cadaver,” said Nobby.

“—but…well, Leggie, you weren't there,” said Colon. “That's the start and finish of it. Reg was. That's all there is to it, Leggie. If you weren't there, you don't understand. Now you just run along and count the skulls again, I know you like that. Cheerio, Leggie.”

Legitimate First watched them go as they walked away. Sergeant Colon felt he was being measured up.

“I've always wondered about his name,” said Nobby, turning and waving. “I mean…Legitimate?”

“Can't blame a mother for being proud, Nobby,” said Colon.