“Five years ago in man’s time, but one day with the Lord is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.”

Devon felt like she was in school again listening to Mrs. Highbarger rattle on about fractions. “Huh?”

“God does not mark the days as man on Earth.”

“Oh.” She guessed that explained why it felt like she’d been dead about an hour. “So are you here to take me to heaven?” she asked, all prepared for her meeting with God. She had a few things she wanted to ask him. Important things, like why he’d allowed catastrophes like cellulite, bunions, and bad hair to exist. Then she’d want God to answer some of life’s biggest mysteries, like who shot J.F.K. and-

“Not quite,” Mrs. Highbarger interrupted Devon’s running list of God Q and A.

“What?” She was sure she hadn’t heard right. “I’m going to heaven now. Right?”

“While on Earth, you did not earn your place in heaven.”

“Is this a joke?”

Instead of answering, Mrs. Highbarger moved without moving, and Devon was pulled along behind her.

“I earned plenty! I raised more money than anyone else in the Junior League. My benefits were always the most fabulous.”

“You only helped others to help yourself, to get your picture on the society page and to lord it over your friends.”

Who cares, Devon thought.

“God cares,” her old teacher answered.

“You can read my thoughts?”

“Yes.”

Crap.

Exactly.

They moved downward as if on an invisible escalator, and Devon felt her first hint of panic. “I’m not going to hell? Like with Satan and a burning pit of fire?”

“No.” Mrs. Highbarger shuddered. “You’re going someplace in between, where everyone’s version of hell is different.”

Devon thought of Genevieve Brooks reading the minutes of Junior League meetings and felt a stab to her brain. Listening to Genevieve for eternity would be hell.