“The duckling’s a gosling,” I informed her coolly. “When it grows up”-if ever I managed to nurse it from egg to adulthood without Nux or Julia frightening it to death-“it will be a guardian of Rome on the Capitol. Don’t insult a creature with a lifelong sacred destiny.”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” scoffed the angry little madam. “Lots of people have destinies-” She stopped.

“Well?” I enquired patiently.

“I am not allowed to say.”

Sometimes a secret persuades you to take the job. Today mysteries held no charm for me. The terrible afternoon that I had just spent at my sister’s had killed any curiosity.

“Why have you got it here, anyway?” demanded Gaia, nodding at the gosling.

Despite my depression, I tried to sound proud. “I am the Procurator of Poultry for the Senate and People of Rome.”

My new job. I had only had it a day. It was still unfamiliar-but I already knew that it was not what I would have chosen for myself.

“Flunkey for Feathers.” Helena giggled from inside the door. She thought it was hilarious.

Gaia was dismissive too: “That sounds like a title you made up.”

“No, the Emperor invented it, the clever old boy.”

Vespasian had wanted me in a position which would look like a reward but which would not cost him much in salary. He thought this up while I was in North Africa. At his summons I had sailed all the way home from Tripolitania, eagerly hoping for position and influence. Geese were what the imperial joker inflicted on me instead. And yes, I had been awarded the augurs’ Sacred Chickens too. Life stinks.

Gaia, who knew how to be persistent, still wanted me to explain why the yellow bird was living in my house. “Why have you got it here?”

“Upon receipt of my honored post, Gaia Laelia, I rushed to inspect my charges. Juno’s geese are not supposed to hatch their own eggs on the Capitol-their offspring are normally fostered under some wormy hens on a farm. Two goslings who didn’t know the system had hatched out-and on arrival at the Temple of Juno Moneta I found the duty priest about to wring their sacred little necks.”