"You don't have to go," Natalie said, finally. "You can stay."

"I'm not going to take the risk."

"You think maybe, just maybe, you're being paranoid?"

I nodded. "But that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

"Oxford's dead."

"But not whoever the hell it was who hired him in the first place. That threat is still out there, and I want it bearing down on me, not on her and not on you."

Her brow furrowed as she considered her possible counterarguments, and then she sighed sadly. "Any messages?"

I thought about it, then shook my head. My association with Alena had already cost me all of my friends but Natalie; what relationships remained wouldn't survive what would happen next. I'd disappeared once without a trace. Doing it again was going to be one time too many.

"You're sure?" Natalie asked.

"There's nothing I can say."

"Not even to her?" She indicated the floor above us with her head.

"There's nothing I can say."

"Maybe you should think of something. It was her idea to go back for you, Atticus, not mine."

I shook my head again, hoping Natalie would take that as my request to let the matter drop. I wasn't surprised when she didn't.

"She's in love with you, you know that, right? That's why she made me turn around, why we came back."

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters, Atticus." She looked at me with honest incredulity. "It's the only thing that matters."

"Don't be a fucking idiot."

"What?"

"Give me a goddamn break, Nat," I said. "You don't really believe that. It's all that matters? It doesn't matter at all. Not at all, not one bit. Not to Oxford or Bowles or any of that lot, and sure as hell not to Scott. What matters is survival. That's all that fucking matters."

"Don't tell me what I do or don't believe." Her look reflected my sudden anger, turned it back on me, and it crept into her voice even though I knew she was fighting to keep it out. "Survival isn't just drawing another breath. It has to be more than that."