"For instance, take a Haunted Tower, With skull, cross-bones, and sheet; Blue lights to burn (say) two an hour, Condensing lens of extra power, And set of chains complete: "What with the things you have to hire — The fitting on the robe — And testing all the coloured fire — The outfit of itself would tire The patience of a Job! "And then they're so fastidious, The Haunted-House Committee: I've often known them make a fuss Because a Ghost was French, or Russ, Or even from the City! "Some dialects are objected to — For one, the Irish brogue is: And then, for all you have to do, One pound a week they offer you, And find yourself in Bogies!

Canto V — Byckerment

"Don't they consult the 'Victims,' though?" I said. "They should, by rights, Give them a chance — because, you know, The tastes of people differ so, Especially in Sprites." The Phantom shook his head and smiled. "Consult them? Not a bit! 'Twould be a job to drive one wild, To satisfy one single child — There'd be no end to it!" "Of course you can't leave children free," Said I, "to pick and choose: But, in the case of men like me, I think 'Mine Host' might fairly be Allowed to state his views." He said "It really wouldn't pay — Folk are so full of fancies. We visit for a single day, And whether then we go, or stay,