As he proceeded to recite His "Maxims of Behaviour."

Canto II — Hys Fyve Rules

 "My First — but don't suppose," he said, "I'm setting you a riddle — Is — if your Victim be in bed, Don't touch the curtains at his head, But take them in the middle, "And wave them slowly in and out, While drawing them asunder; And in a minute's time, no doubt, He'll raise his head and look about With eyes of wrath and wonder. "And here you must on no pretence Make the first observation. Wait for the Victim to commence: No Ghost of any common sense Begins a conversation. "If he should say 'How came you here ?' (The way that you began, Sir,) In such a case your course is clear — 'On the bat's back, my little dear !' Is the appropriate answer. "If after this he says no more, You'd best perhaps curtail your Exertions — go and shake the door, And then, if he begins to snore, You'll know the thing's a failure. "By day, if he should be alone — At home or on a walk — You merely give a hollow groan, To indicate the kind of tone In which you mean to talk. "But if you find him with his friends, The thing is rather harder. In such a case success depends On picking up some candle-ends, Or butter, in the larder. "With this you make a kind of slide


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