"The duck was tender, but the peas Were very much too old: And just remember, if you please, The next time you have toasted cheese, Don't let them send it cold. "You'd find the bread improved, I think, By getting better flour: And have you anything to drink That looks a little less like ink, And isn't quite so sour?" Then, peering round with curious eyes, He muttered "Goodness gracious!" And so went on to criticise — "Your room's an inconvenient size: It's neither snug nor spacious. "That narrow window, I expect, Serves but to let the dusk in — " "But please," said I, "to recollect 'Twas fashioned by an architect Who pinned his faith on Ruskin!" "I don't care who he was, Sir, or On whom he pinned his faith! Constructed by whatever law, So poor a job I never saw, As I'm a living Wraith! "What a re-markable cigar! How much are they a dozen?" I growled "No matter what they are! You're getting as familiar As if you were my cousin! "Now that's a thing I will not stand , And so I tell you flat." "Aha," said he, "we're getting grand!" (Taking a bottle in his hand) "I'll soon arrange for that !" And here he took a careful aim, And gaily cried "Here goes!" I tried to dodge it as it came, But somehow caught it, all the same, Exactly on my nose. And I remember nothing more