Poppy had had at least two flings that I knew about, and I would not have been surprised to hear there had been more. I had tried-real hard-not to judge Poppy, to enjoy the part of her I liked and ignore the part that made me queasy. I behaved this way for several reasons. The most important reason was that I was also bound to her by marriage, my mother’s marriage, and to make a family work, you have to be willing to keep your mouth shut and park your judgments by the door. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was complicate my mother’s life by causing trouble in our new family.

Another reason was my attempt to live my religion. When I’d dated our priest, Aubrey, he’d commented once or twice on my ardent wish not to cause trouble by speaking up about other people’s behavior. “You have to take a stand for what you believe,” he’d said. Well, that was true. What was the point of having beliefs if you didn’t express them and live them?

“I don’t have to take a stand by telling other people they’re wrong,” I’d protested. “What business is it of mine?”

“If you love them, it’s your business,” he’d said firmly. “If their misbehavior is intruding on the happiness and well-being of others, it’s your business.”

I don’t know what Aubrey would have said about Poppy and John David, because I never asked him. I always felt I had so many weaknesses myself that the last thing I should do was point out other people’s flaws to them. So I never mentioned their infidelities to John David or Poppy, and I didn’t want them to discuss those affairs with me.

For sure, I didn’t want that.

When other people would try to tell me what my in-laws were doing, I’d just hurry the subject right past my nose.