The horror of my existence overtook me then, an acute awareness of the squalorin which I dwelt, the danger which surrounded me, and the dark mystery informingmy universe. I wept for all that I had lost.
Eventually, the sun rose up like God's own Peterbilt and with a triumphant blareof chromed trumpets, gently sent all of us creatures of the night to sleep.
When you die, the first thing that happens is that the world turns upside-down.You feel an overwhelming disorientation and a strange sensation that's not quitepain as the last strands connecting you to your body part, and then you slip outof physical being and fall from the planet.
As you fall, you attenuate. Your substance expands and thins, glowing more andmore faintly as you pick up speed. So far as can be told, it's a process thatdoesn't ever stop. Fainter, thinner, colder ... until you've merged into thesubstance of everyone else who's ever died, spread perfectly uniformly throughthe universal vacuum forever moving toward but never arriving at absolute zero.Look hard, and the sky is full of the Dead.
Not everyone falls away. Some few are fast-thinking or lucky enough to maintaina tenuous hold on earthly existence. I was one of the lucky ones. I was workinglate one night on a proposal when I had my heart attack. The office was empty.The ceiling had a wire mesh within the plaster and that's what saved me.
The first response to death is denial. This can't be happening, I thought. Igaped up at the floor where my body had fallen and would lie undiscovered untilmorning. My own corpse, pale and bloodless, wearing a corporate tie andsleeveless gray Angora sweater. Gold Rolex, Sharper Image desk accessories, andof course I also thought: I died for this? By which of course I meant my entire