‘Is this certain?’ she said faintly, and my father grunted.

He’d bought the cello from a colleague of his, at our embassy in Libya.

As I stood and watched, curious at this tense scene, I learned that, on the day before, the colleague of my father’s had defected to the Americans. We all stared at the cello in horror. My father finally covered it up with a bedsheet, as if it were a corpse.

For weeks afterwards, KGB counter-intelligence officers came down from Moscow, unable to comprehend how my father could have bought a cello from someone who would, at some future date, defect. In the eyes of these officers the cello was a clue. It somehow contained the virus of defection. So it was taken to pieces, deliberately broken, and never fixed and put back together. My mother never played a cello again.

For two weeks my mother and I and Genghiz had to stay in our house on the compound, with the windows and blinds shut in the stifling heat, while KGB officers raked over everything and guarded all the entrances, in case the cello made a dash for it, or had the power to make us all defect too. Suspicion and fear ruled the house. My mother went grey, my father’s anger revealed the fear behind it more than usual. But I found it comical that a cello could cause so much panic.

After the incident with my tutor, my parents realised they’d be happier without me unhappy in Damascus and allowed me–as if it were solely for my benefit–to stay in Russia during the summer holidays.

‘It’s better for her education,’ I heard my father say from behind their bedroom door. My mother complied, though I knew she didn’t want me to go. For many years- and despite the fact that I was overjoyed to spend my summers with Nana at Barvikha- I blamed her for giving in to his will. He felt judged by me, perhaps, by my silent looks that questioned his behaviour, and wanted me out of the house. But she was too weak to stand up for me, or for herself. I vowed I would never be weak like her.