It's really quite simple. The structure of what he did was appropriate for accomplishing certain goals and not others. Since those specific goals were not described, people didn't know how to look for them and find them. I am hoping that you will come to realize that there are appropriate and inappropriate times to use these tools. It's important that you know what your tools do, and what they don't do. Otherwise you have to find out by trial and error.

Jim: I'm interested in getting others' reactions to a reframe that I did. My partner role–played a patient who had attempted suicide several times. She said to me «You people profess to know a lot about human behavior. I don't like it when all you do is continue to lock me up instead of letting me kill myself.»

Marie: Well, there was something else that I said: «I really know I want to kill myself.» His response to that was «Good! I'm really glad you know what you want.» Then I responded «Well, if you appreciate that, why do you lock me up here? I don't like it that you send the police for me when I swallow pills.»

OK. That's the complaint. All of you take a moment to figure out a content reframe you might make to that input, and then Jim can tell us what he did… . OK, now go ahead, Jim.

Jim: I said to her «You know, I have never really understood suicide before. We really don't know what goes on with people like you, and you are offering me an unprecedented opportunity to learn. What I would like to do is cooperate with you, but what you have proposed is too simple, and I won't learn enough. What I would like to do is make your death more complex, so that I can really learn about it.»

She was obviously very surprised by what I said. She just went «Tchew!» and inhaled suddenly, and her stomach sucked in.