I've been pretty good about that, but lately, what with feeling tired and cranky and just not well, I haven't gone toNew York as often as Dad would like. All my energy goes into baby-sitting, school, and homework. I can't think about traveling. It wears me out. Plus, I feel as though Mom and Dad have been using me a little. I know that's a terrible thing to say about your own parents, but it's true. And it makes me resent the divorce even more, which makes me want to stay put inConnecticut . I'm not trying to punish my dad, I'm just trying to feel like a normal kid with one home. Each time I have to get on the train and travel to see my father, I'm reminded of the divorce. I don't like to think of myself as a divorced kid, even though the parents of

half of my friends are divorced, too.

Oh. I got off the track. I started to say that I feel like Mom and Dad are using me. By that I mean that they're putting me in the middle. In the middle of them. For instance, when I come home fromNew York , Mom usually wants to know what Dad's "up to." After a few more questions, I can tell that what she really wants to know is whether Dad is dating someone. Dad does the same thing to me on my weekend visits. What am I supposed to do? In the first place, I usually don't know the answers to their questions. In the second place, when I do know, if I tell, am I being an informant? Is one parent going to call the other and say, "Stacey told me you went out with so-and-so the other night"? And then will I be in trouble?

"Stacey?" askedCharlotte . "Are you okay? You stopped reading."

"Oh, Char, I'm sorry," I told her. "My mind was wandering. Let's see. Where was I?" I'd been reading without paying any attention.

"Right here," saidCharlotte , pointing to a spot on page nine.

"Okay." I began reading again. This time I kept my mind on the book. In fact, Charlotte and I both became so caught up in the story that when Dr. Johanssen returned, she startled us!