How many bones do you think your skeletal system has? Would you say 50? 150? 250? 300? More than 300?
If you guessed 50, you’re a real jerk. I would say it’s around 250, but I don’t really see why it’s all that important. The only important part of your skeleton, for fitness purposes, is your knees.
Knees are God’s way of telling mankind that He doesn’t want us to do anything really strenuous. When we do, our knees punish us by becoming injured, as you know if you’ve ever watched professional football on television:
ANNOUNCER: The handoff goes to Burger; he’s tackled at the six. ... Uh oh! He’s hurt!
COLOR COMMENTATOR: Looks like a knee injury, Bob, from the way that bone there is sticking out of his knee.
ANNOUNCER: Burger’s teammates are bending over him. ... Uh oh! Now they’re down on the field!
COLOR COMMENTATOR: Looks like they’ve all injured their knees, too, Bob.
ANNOUNCER: Here comes the team physician, who is. ... Uh oh! Now he’s down on the ...
So one of the things we’re going to stress in our fitness program is knee safety. We’re going to get you so aware of this important topic that you won’t even discuss racquetball over the telephone without first putting on knee braces the size of industrial turbines.
The Digestive System
Your digestive system is your body’s Fun House, whereby food goes on a long, dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected twists and turns, being attacked by vicious secretions along the way, and not knowing until the last minute whether it will be turned into a useful body part or ejected into the Dark Hole by Mister Sphincter. You must be careful about what you eat, unless you want your body making heart valves out of things like bean dip.
The Central Nervous System
The central nervous system is your body’s Messenger, always letting your brain know what’s going on elsewhere in your body. “Your nose itches!” it tells your brain. Or, “Your foot is falling asleep!!” Or, “You’re hungry!!!” All day long, your brain hears messages like these, thousands of them, hour after hour, until finally it deliberately rests your hand on a red-hot stove just for the pleasure of hearing your nervous system scream in pain.