“I wanted to cheer you up. So sue me.” She pouted at her failed attempt to love-match me. “Ever since you and jerk-face broke up you’ve been no fun at all.”

Jerk-face was her pet name for Thierry. I had a similar term of endearment for her vampire husband, Barry, so I guess it all equaled out.

I cleared my throat. “That doesn’t mean I want to start dating again. At least, not this soon.”

“Jeremy would be perfect for you.” She paused. “Although, he’d also be perfect for

George, if you know what I mean. Don’t you love a man who’s flexible about certain things?”

Sounded like an episode of Jerry Springer in the making, actually.

“I appreciate the thought, but I need some time on my own right now.”

She nodded sadly and patted my arm. “Your heart is broken in a million pieces.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to get back on that horse and gallop right out of town into the sunset with a new, perfect man.” She cocked her head to the side as she thought about it. “Or having a one-night stand with a super-hot guy would probably work wonders, too.”

“Wallowing in solitude is also a great use of time after a breakup. No one-night stands need apply.”

She sighed. “You’re not thinking there’s a chance you and Thierry are going to get back together, are you?”

I chewed my bottom lip and shook my head. “It’s over. Him and me were completely wrong for each other from the very start. This is all for the best.”

It sounded perfectly rehearsed because it was.

Amy nodded. “Well, you’re right about that. He was a pompous jerk who didn’t deserve you. I knew from the beginning that he was a complete waste of your valuable time.”

I blinked. “Yeah, except for that dirty little crush you had on him, you mean.”

She blanched at the reminder. “I thought we were going to forget about that.”