And I just lost it right there, I have to write it exactly like that, I just went up in smoke. I didn’t know it was going to happen until I heard that faraway voice screaming at her, “Yeah, well, maybe I don’t have the greatest life in the world right now, but I’m used to it, you ever think about that? And I know I’ve only got a couple of friends, and they’re even weirder than I am, but I know them, and I don’t want to start everything all over in some shitty, snobby place where it rains all the damn time and they make you wear uniforms.” Sally was trying to interrupt, and Mister Cat was looking at me and flicking his tail, the way he still does when I’m not being cool like him. I just kept going, “It’s fine, it’s okay, I’ll move in with Marta, or Norris or somebody, I’ll call Norris right now.” And I grabbed up the phone, and the receiver slipped right out of my hands, they were so shaky and sweaty. It just made me crazier. I told her, “Don’t worry about me. You go to England, that’s fine, have a nice life. Say hello to the boys, okay?”

And I banged the phone back down, and then I did head for my room, and the door was already slamming while she was still yelling something about finally getting me away from my damn druggy friends. Mister Cat ran in right after me—someday he’s going to get nailed, I keep telling him—and jumped up on the bed, and we just lay there for I don’t know how long, hours. The Gluckstein Diet.

I guess I must have cried a little bit, but not very much. I’m really not a big crier. Mainly I lay there with Mister Cat on my chest and started reviewing my options.