And what he needed to do to keep from being blown. That's always the question. How will they test him? What will they expect of him? So at the very least, temptation lifts its lovely face. Have you ever been in a tense situation with an attractive person of the opposite sex? A situation with pressure, maybe danger? With something at stake? Competition maybe? Sure you have. I have. It makes you feel brave and romantic and… downright urgent, doesn't it? It builds. And when the race is over you want to celebrate. Oh, yes. You want release, don't you?"

"That does happen," said Bly. "We try to factor it in when we plan the operation."

"I factored it in, too. But the next six months were bad. Less contact. I'd see him every three or four weeks for a day, maybe two at the most. He was such a mess he couldn't eat or talk or make love. He couldn't even sleep. I could feel this story inside him, this life, these things, all needing to get out. But he couldn't even begin to let them out. He needed to decompress before coming up, but undercover isn't scuba diving. You don't get to stop and breathe at a certain depth on your way up. You don't have a buddy. You just shoot to the surface and bob there and hope somebody picks you up. Then, boom! You go back under. Down to the depths."

She stood suddenly, then seemed embarrassed. She sat again. Hood wondered at the calm Seliah he had come to know, and now this anxious new one. It looked like the undercover work had gotten to her, too. According to the ATF agent runners he had talked to, it usually did.

"Do you think he has another woman?" asked Bly.

"He has another life. So why not another woman to go along with it?"

"You should have told us he was in trouble, Seliah," said Hood. "That was always the agreement. You had the training, too. That was your part of this operation."

"Sean begged me not to tell you. He wanted to do something big and something good. He didn't want to be brought in. He wanted to set it right with Jimmy. So…"