I had at last regained full consciousness. I was in an extraordinary state of disorder, and was obliged to change my linen. My chemise and stockings were not only stained by loving liquid but spotted by numerous spots of blood. I had not had to do with such a full-sized member with impunity.

When I had set in order my toilette and my ideas, I went to bed and slept soundly, my husband not intending to return till late in the evening. I awoke about seven, happy, fresh as a lark, and stronger than I had felt for many a day.

I will not recapitulate all the thoughts that crowded in upon my brain, as I have already said that I had been drawn on by irresistible feelings, and above all a natural absolute craving for the venereal act, that was as necessary for my life as simple food.

Yet, I was far from depraved! I loved my husband as a sure friend, as the companion of my existence, and if he had possessed the manly vigour that was necessary for me, or if even he had known how to subdue my clever caresses, I should never have dreamt of being unfaithful to him! I resolved to spare him all sorrow, and I have fully succeeded, as he has never had the least suspicion!

This revolution demanded much care, trouble, and even privation; the town I inhabited was much inclined to scandal, and it was very difficult for me to hide my connection, so I had to take endless precautions, I warned my lover, who, wishing above all to save my repu180 tation, promised to do all in his power not to excite suspicion, and I knew I could rely on his honour.

A few days went by without our meeting; I suffered greatly and he as much as I! A sign, a look during our walks was our only consolation for eight long days!

At last, F. could bear it no longer, and came to pay us a visit; we chatted in an ordinary friendly way; someone else called, F.