'Come here, small girl.'

'Whit?'

'I said, come here.'

'Whit fir?'

'What?  What did you say?'

'Eh?'

'Are you actually talking English, child?'

'Ahm no Inglish, ahm Scoatish.'

'Ah.  Well, at least I understood that.  I wasn't questioning your nationality, young lady.  I was merely wondering aloud whether we shared the same language.'

'Whit?'

'Never mind.  Look, would you kindly step closer to the car; I hate having to raise my voice…I'm not going to bite you, child.'

'Who's he?'

'That is Gerald, my chauffeur.  Say hello, Gerald.'

'Aye-aye.  Y'all right, hen?'

'Aye…Zat him fixin the tyre, aye, missis?'

'Yes.  We had a puncture.  He's changing the wheel.'

'Aw aye.'

'How are we doing there, Gerald?'

'Getting there, ma'am.  Getting there.'

'Now, what is your name?'

'Ahm no supposed to talk tae strangers.  Ma maw telt me.'

'Gerald, introduce us.'

'What's that, ma'am?'

'Introduce us, please, dear boy, as best you can.'

'Ah, Mrs Telman, this is, ah, the bairn you're talking to.  Bairn, this is Mrs Telman.'

'Aw aye.'

'There.  We've been introduced.  I am not a stranger any more.  Now, what is your name?…Close your mouth, child.  It's unbecoming.  What is your name?'

'Ma maw sez…'

'Please, miss, her name's Katie McGurk.'

'Oh, hello.'

'Boaby Clark, you're just a wee clipe, so ye are.'

'Least ah've goat a da.'

'Ah widnae want a da like yours; he's just a waster.'

'Ah, still, but.  At least ah've goat wan.  More than you huv.'

'Just you fuck oaf, ye wee four-eyed cunt!'

'You're a wee cow!  Ah'm tellin ma mum you said that!'