This new idea was so startling to me that it left me numb and speechless for a moment. I had always become very excited at the prospect of doing sexual things with unformed, immature little girls, but it had never occurred to me that I would not have to force them and hurt them. The idea that a child of these tender years could enjoy and enter wholeheartedly into such a physical relationship had never really occurred to me. The thought of a willing and enthusiastic partner, rather than a screaming and fighting opponent, somehow fascinated me, adding a whole new dimension to my admitted perverse approach to the female sex.

I supposed that originally I had started dreaming about sex with little girls because older girls or women were a little frightening or even possibly dangerous to me. I could feel emotionally and physically safe if I had only to deal with a child who could not harm me or otherwise threaten me, no matter what I did to her. But here was a child who not only was a threat to me, but was offering to be a willing and cooperative partner in my bizarre adventures, and who probably could teach me a lot from actual experience that I had not even been able to dream of, so limited had been my ideas by my preconceptions that she had to be an opponent, I stared in profound admiration and awe at little Jeannie, trying to fathom her novel theory and to see who she was that she could so attract and excite me.

As I have described, she was very average in size for her age, even though she had more poise and self-assurance than one would expect. She was dressed in a mildly flaring gray flannel skirt, topped with a fuzzy white sweater which made her look very cute and normal, and emphasized her total lack of biological development toward womanhood. She wore white ankle-socks and black and white saddle-shoes, and, in addition, had a most appropriate smudge on the end of her button-nose, from the pencil with which she had been doing her arithmetic homework. I doubt that she was wearing any make-up of any sort, so natural did she seem, but her full rounded cheeks had a healthy flush of pink, and her full sensuous lips were deeply red and moist by nature.