The next thing he knew, Tres was pulling him out of the water and slapping him across the face.

"Andy! Andy, are you okay?"

He then heard a different voice. A smaller voice.

"Is he dead?"

Damn. He hoped he wasn't dead.

Andy opened his eyes onto a dark, blurry world. He saw two figures standing there. A big Tres and a little Tres. No, Tres and a kid… holding a rope?

"Is he dead?" the kid said again.

Andy had gone into the falls right where kids played Tarzan on a rope hanging from a tree. Tres frowned at the kid then put his cell phone to his ear. Andy heard Tres' distant voice.

"Hello? Hello? Damn. Can't ever get a signal down here in the canyons."

Tres resumed slapping Andy across the face.

"Andy! Andy!"

Andy tried to fend off Tres' blows before he suffered irreparable brain damage, but his arms were spaghetti.

"Dude, quit hitting me!"

"I'll run up and call nine-one-one."

"I don't need an ambulance, man. I need a beer."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure I need a beer."

"No. That you're okay?"

"Yeah, except I can't see. Tres-everything's dark!"

"Dude, you still got your sunglasses on."

"Oh."

Andy removed the glasses. Tres studied him from close range for a long moment then broke into a big grin.

"Man, that was a spectacular stack! The most awesome face plant I've ever witnessed!"

Andy extended a closed hand to Tres; they tapped knuckles. A fist-punch.